It’s okay to be unsure

As my college career has officially (well it’ll definitely be official on Sunday) come to a close, I have to look back on how these four years have served me as well as look to the future with some sort of new perspective and insight.

Right now, my friends and I are all facing the inevitable questions of: “so what’s next?” “where have you applied” “where are you going to work?” “have you been applying to enough positions” “WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO?”

It’s crazy and hectic and annoying. All of these questions are questions that, while understandable, follow us throughout our lives.

I can say that I have definitely applied to over 30 positions since the end of January and have not heard back from one single position. I actually recently heard back from one company about two days ago but I declined the offer on account of the position being one of extreme stress and having nothing to do with what I ultimately want.

Recently, due to this type of rejection I’ve been facing, I’ve been questioning what it is I do want from my life and where do I want to go?

I can say that while thinking about all of this, I’ve realized I really don’t want to work under someone else. I want to have my own freedom, my own schedule, be making money the way I want to on my own terms. And maybe, just maybe, all of this rejection and silent treatment from the job market is a blessing in disguise.

Not getting what you want, when you want it, can be an extreme stroke of luck. What I want is the same as ever before: travel a lot, write constantly, share my life with thousands of people through the writing world. And nowadays, that can easily be done by means of what I’m doing now — blogging.

Odd concept and one that is definitely postmodern and contemporary but it’s new and relevant. People may say not to expect much in terms of blogging being lucrative and that may be so; however, if you create a website, company, or brand that is original and one stemming from passion, purpose and love, then I do not believe you can do any wrong.

I am finding that what I really want to do with my life is not something that many companies have available for me, or at least not right at this moment. Therefore, I guess I will just have to create my own position and do it all myself.

It’s exciting for me to come to this realization as well as terrifying. I want it to be successful and I believe it will be successful when it is accompanied with positive vibes, persistence, hard work and a strong sense of dedication.

My main point in writing this is that when you are lost and it seems as though no opportunities are coming your way…do not be discouraged. Do not think that it will all come to an end and you’re just a failure. And this goes out specifically to the recent college grads like myself. Society conditions us to believe that the equation to a successful life is as follows: go to college, graduate, find a job, settle down and create a family. Boom. Done. Yet nowadays multiple, if not thousands, of people are challenging that traditional way of thinking. Many people don’t go to college anymore and if they do, some of them drop out. Some do go to college, and then grad school, and they are a complete success and living lives they’ve always dreamed of. And then there are those who simply graduate, go off to backpack through Europe and seem completely happy with their journey. Furthering this, nowadays we live in a world where the internet is vast, huge and constantly accessible. Technology rules our world! And that’s a scary thing as well as exciting because it can be a place for growth and opportunity! Think of how many people make it big or make any amount of money off of blogging, self publishing, YouTube, and building their own online platforms. Even colleges are offered online! This is why the world is changing, or has already changed, and therefore it’s okay if your way of life has changed or your desire to live your life is different and non-traditional. In fact, in my opinion, it is not only okay but respectable.

YOU DO NOT HAVE TO DO ANYTHING YOU DO NOT WANT TO!

Your life is your life! You can believe in many things! For me, I was recently introduced to the notion of “nothing is written” by reading a story from Anderson Cooper who, by the way, created his own position because even he had no luck finding a job after graduating from Yale. I believe you can think of life as something that is already written for you or you can think of it as nothing is written which gives the power back to the individual. You have the power to control and change your life any way you want.

I don’t want to live a life that society tells me to live. I want to create my own. I want to travel and constantly be on an adventure. And in this period of my life where I’m being rushed into all different directions, I dare myself and all of you to simply pause. Pause and think of where you want to go and what you want to do and who you want to be. Be selfish.

If you want to go get a waitressing job or a retail job simply to save money and then buy a ticket to anywhere…do it! Be adventurous and courageous. Be fearless. This is your life and only you are living it so fuck what everyone else is saying.

There is a great power in not knowing what you want sometimes or, I should mention, not getting your way. It can open many doors. It pushes you to search for what you do really want. I think what I’m realizing right now is that I can do whatever I want. There’s power in that!

I am unsure and sure all at once. I am confused and curious and desiring of more out of life. I don’t want to be rushed into anything or work a 9-5 that I hate.

And guess what?

I don’t have to

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